I’ve used my hypnobirthing techniques a lot lately. Each time I do, a couple of things happen. I’m reminded of the power these techniques have in changing the trajectory of my feelings. I’m reminded of how this power is inside me, controlled by me. And I’m reminded of the first time I used them, intentionally, to help me have the birth of my dreams.

Dentists and flying — two things I’m mildly afraid of. I say mildly, but let’s take flying as my first example. The fear seems to vary; sometimes when I fly I’m ok, other times I really struggle. A trigger was a flight with extreme turbulence as we passed over a mountain range. My worries of vomiting were exacerbated by the row of seats next to me being out of use due to somebody having vomited on it!

I don’t do extreme fairground rides, I don’t like big dips or going upside down. My sense of balance doesn’t like it and my stomach can’t handle the dips. To illustrate my case further, I once threw up after going on a ride at Disneyland.

But I can’t say it’s just the fear of vomiting that concerns me. (You’ll be glad to hear I’m moving on from the subject of vomiting now!) The thought of the plane crashing does cross my mind sometimes and I can feel my body tensing, as if to anticipate it. It doesn’t matter if someone quotes stats at me about how unlikely it is the plane will crash. If it’s possible, then in that moment it doesn’t matter that the chances of it happening are around 0.000001%. If I was in that tiny percent, it wouldn’t be great. But then the thought of crashing passes, and I know it’s not what I’m most afraid of. I still pay attention to the staff doing the safety demo and confirm to myself I’d know what to do if something happened.

And that’s when I think of you, in your pregnancy, with stats or risk being thrown at you, and you being expected to make a decision based on them. For me, the stats aren’t always helpful. What’s more important is — am I actually afraid of that particular outcome? Why am I afraid? What can I do about the feeling? And I might also think, what can I do to reduce my chances of that outcome?

Now I close my eyes, use my favourite breathing technique and listen to a relaxation on my earphones. I go inside and stay in the zone, ignoring what’s going on around me, and sometimes I doze off. I’ve tried lots of other things to help but my new routine is the one that has given me dramatic results. Along with my Weleda stress relief spray, a homeopathic remedy called Cocculus and listening through just one earphone, I manage to bring myself to equilibrium. I had the bright idea of checking my heart rate during a bout of turbulence recently and was amazed to see there was very little increase from what I’d expect, taking into account the low oxygen levels.

So you see, I don’t just present you with the tools and expect you to trust me. I’ve used these tools in labour and birth and I continue to use them today, because they work. Not just in labour and birth, but in stressful situations for our body and mind, for situations where we might experience pain, or for times when we want to feel more in control.

My advice to you? Learn the techniques. Book in for a birth preparation course with me. Don’t just do a halfhearted attempt at hypnobirthing via TikTok or some link your friend sent you and think you’ve ticked another job off the list. Use the techniques, practise them in real life situations so that your mind and body know they can trust them, and work on those questions that pop up for you. Are you afraid, and if so, why and what specifically of? What does labour and birth look like for you? What would your dream birth be like?

If you’d like to start practising calming your mind and body today, I’ve created a free pregnancy relaxation track just for you. Download it here.